Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Now is Now


Angel.
I'm thinking.
Just that.
I used to be reactive in a reflexive manner, but now I'm thinking. I didn't know there was a difference between the two a short time ago, surprised myself by pausing, and again by issuing statements in my head first and then carefully letting them out into the atmosphere. Also, something quite amazing happened to me that has inspired the concept of consideration.
An Angel.
A special kind of Angel, one that has inspired the afore mentioned thoughts and other things that perhaps I may have known, but didn't process properly. This particular Angel has opened my eyes in ways that continue to surprise me because, now I am thinking, thinking about everything I have ever done and said and say and do. In a good way, in a positive self-affirming way, in a way that excites me to meet new challenges- in ways I have never even thought of.
Imagine analyzing a past (or even present) behavior and thinking it through as to the meaning of that behavior and how it affects you and others, imagine that for the first time in your life you can begin to see yourself thinking about those behaviors before they happen. Now imagine how wonderful that can feel, because you are not making the same mistakes.

So, what are Angels and how does one find them?

Perhaps, you first need to spend some serious time in Hell, and then if your lucky and survive - you might meet one, and if you do - and hear me on this, do not let her go.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

It's pathetic that you call this "thinking". Or that you think anything you wrote here is not "reactive". At least you are "self affirming". You got that going for ya.

John Highstreet said...

and you without a name, have so boldly declared the post pathetic. The irony was in the subject, however your mind was too dull to comprehend that. How can you critique semantics when you are ignorant of the message. Fool.

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